Today is for Me

When I started this, I said that this was my place to document how things are going, my feelings, etc., etc. So, I'm going to do that today. Today is for me.

It is now November and still nothing. I have had many jobs interviews and applied for a countless number of positions, and still nothing. I've reached out to contacts, sought advice wherever I can get it, re-worked my resume all in the hopes that something would come along. I finally understand what so many people are going through. The immense frustration that comes with hours of searching and chatting and paperwork, and still nothing to show for it except an empty wallet. Maybe I'm lucky - I'm a student so I have my studying to distract me from the job hunt, but I can't get over it. I never thought it would be me in this position. I can feel the toll it is taking on my life - my physical and mental well-being, my relationships, my schedule, my actions. My workouts are a big part of what keep me going, and even those have suffered in the wake of midterms.

I know this is just one small time period in my life. I know I will get through this, and that in just a couple of years I will look back on this time and be so glad I made it through. But right now, in this moment I am frustrated, upset, exhausted, and an emotional wreck. Right now, I want to throw in the towel. But, I won't. I'll keep applying and studying and going to the gym. And hopefully, one of these days the right opportunity will come along.